Bangkok

Bangkok is quite possibly the most disgusting, depraved, yet uniquely interesting and exciting city that i've ever been to...i know that doesnt make much sense, but you really have to go there to understand it.

the first thing you must know about bangkok is that the women there come in three flavors: regular thai chicks that have jobs and stuff, hookers (and this class includes all kinds: high class whores, street corner girls, strippers you can buy....literally anything you want), and ladyboys.

what is a ladyboy, you ask? well let's see...let's put it this way: when you walk into a club in bangkok, you can never be sure that the hottest chick there is a chick. i mean, if you were into post-op trannies, this is the place for you. often, the ladyboys are hotter than the chicks, who are really fucking hot, by the way. it kinda makes you paranoid.

there are also like thousands upon thousands of gross, old, white expats that either have a hot young chick or hot young ladyboy in tow. you see them everywhere. most of these guys are like superdorks in their own countries. they come out to thailand, and immediately, they're motherfucking charles bronson. these guys have these huge, "i cant believe that i get to do this here," shiteating grins plastered on their faces at all times. and why wouldn't they be stoked out of their minds?

in thailand, you can pay to "keep" a chick or dude or whatever for weeks and weeks. it's a win-win situation for both parties: these fucking dorks get to come out here and spend their ample american or european money and get lots of bang for their buck, so to speak. these young girls are poorer than shit and all they have to do is dress up nice, and wait for a dirty old man to snatch them up and take them to his fancy hotel. the old man (and dude, some of these guys are pushing 80) gets to bang an 18-year-old dime and the girl gets to live in luxury.

another thing you must know about bangkok (and southeast asia in general) is that it's fucking cheap. i mean, you can eat a decent meal for 50 cents on the street or for a buck or two in a restaurant. the taxis are dirt cheap also, but the traffic is heinous.

the air quality in bangkok has got to be some of the worst shit in the world. you cant see the sun anytime during the day. it's just this little hazy disc in the sky. most of the people ride around on motorcycles and cover their faces with dust masks. i swear, whats the point in regulating fuel economy and emissions in rich countries when poor countries couldnt give a damn about it? they cant afford to; they just want to make enough to get by there.

most of the people make like $5 a day or less, so americans injecting 20 dollar bills into the economy really gets us the "star treatment". we are like walking gold mines to these people. there are always people haggling you for sex or money or both. the cop presence is largely non-existant and one gets the feeling that you could do just about anything, and then bribe the cop for a couple of bucks and get away with it.

this place caters to white tourists. they even have a word for them: farang. you can get a full body massage for less than 10 bucks an hour. (the "happy ending" part costs more, as we found out.....that must be where they make their money.) there are markets all over that sell all these generic southeast asia/thailand goods. you can get a really good knockoff rolex here for like 30 bucks. the funny thing is: the prices vary by so much. if you are in a thai area, the shit is so cheap. if you are in a farang-heavy area, they fucking rip you off....and all of us tourists are more than happy to get ripped off because it's still incredibly cheap to us.

(side note: i'm actually writing this entry from cambodia, several days after leaving thailand, so this information isnt all that "fresh" in my mind, but if you want to get some of that generic thailand souvenier stuff, come to cambodia. im serious. this is like the fucking best place ever to travel. unfortunately, i dont want to give away too much from the next entry and i'm too fucking lazy to write 2 entries today. so suffice it to say that cambodia is everything that you thought thailand would be, and better...)

im going to leave off here. there is more to tell, but a lot of it isnt appropriate for this blog. also, i gotta go get some drinks in me. the night is young there is so much potential here. my mind, my heart, and my soul is in cambodia so bangkok seems like a distant memory. maybe i will write more on it later....maybe skeelow will make his first appearance. you never know; keep checking back. peace.